Sadly, this place has come to pass. I am currently debating whether or not to start a new journal, however, seeing that this journal was entitled Peace Corps Chronicles and I am now a RPCV (Returned Peace Corps Volunteer) its time for this to end.

I leave in two weeks for the big city of DC... and maybe then I will begin my DCChronicles. Until then, this is Rosie Lacy saying Goodnight and Sweet Dreams.

Im over and out tonight at midnight. And this time Im ready. So ready. I feel like I want to sleep for a week... that I need to because my emotions and thoughts and mood is like the newest most scientific roller coaster of the century. If you could ride me you might get sick at your stomach... even the biggest thrill seekers would get motion sickness from my highs and lows. Its wonderful and awful and Im stressed and I just want my list to get small and diminish into nothing. One of these days Im going to relax and feel at ease. Until then Im still truckin... and Im not certain what I feel.

My goodbye party last night with the church was nice until the Sunday School teachers started throwing rocks at the children who came to say goodbye to me... put me on a plane. I want out. And yet, they were so sweet and brought gifts and said sweet words. But I love the children and there is just no forum in which I can say goodbye to them. This society still doesnt care about their kids... they are just an investment... a 401K. I sound harsh... I have to stop.

I leave tonight. Its done... I think I left it all on the playing field.

On my first, last day in Samoa
My village gave to me…

A Birthday and a Red Invasion!

Today was Stewart’s Birthday, the 17 year old… excuse me, 18 year old student who helps me with the library and homework center. To celebrate and thank him for all of his work in the library, I took him out for pizza. This was his first time to eat pizza in over two years and only the second time in his life, but he loves it and he ate a whole pepperoni pizza by himself. Oli came along because she loves Stewart and wants to adopt him and take him back to the states but she is so crazy he wouldn’t go. But it gave me a chance to treat her for all her help in the library over the last couple weeks. Anyway, when we arrived in Apia Digicel had taken over and everything was RED! It was as if someone had come through Apia and covered every surface with red Digicel sign and paint and people running around in red from head to toe and every shop that once had anything red in for sale had been bought up by Digicel. It was scary, but after our pizza Oli and I decided to fight back.

When we walked in front of the government building we heard a man with a microphone speaking in Samoa about how great Digicel is because they will give you a brand new phone if you bring them you old phone and it hit me… I turned to Oli and said, “We can get Stewart a free phone… we are palagi… we are Peace Corps… and we can say how great and wonderful this poor little student is and how much he helps us and that its his birthday and he deserves a free Digicel phone, because Digicel is the new phone of Samoa and Stewart is Samoa!” We darted across the street, assessed the situation, moved in for the microphone and then I saw Stewart’s face… he was petrified. Sometimes we palagis get a little too carried away and do crazy things we normally wouldn’t, but Stewart had never seen me in my hyper crazy mode and I think I may have scared him. ABORT. ABORT.

So we moved on to a movie. Fearless. Jet Li’s last martial arts movie of his career. I believe next spring his first Romantic Comedy co-starring Jennifer Lopez comes out… I can’t wait.

After the movies we had to get a bus. When we arrived at the bus stop the Falefa bus was waiting, empty and quiet. We climbed on and had our pick of seats hoping the bus would stay this way the whole way home. And we thought it might when the bus driver took the bus to the round-a-bout the leads out of town, but he just kept going around the round-a-bout and next thing we knew we were back at the market and everyone wanted on. So much for having your own seat. Shouldn’t I only pay half price if someone else is sitting on me?

Just over an hour later we arrived in Saoluafata where we relaxed a bit, ate some dinner (chicken soup of course) and went up to the library. Oli and Stewart were awesome!!! We got everything done and the library is all setup. What a huge relief. Now I can just relax for my last 11 days!

Yeah!

Its official... Ive been marked with the mark of a Samoan woman. What does this mean...? Its what all my parents dreaded... and I have a lot of parents... yes its the mark of a tattoo!!! Technically, its the traditional female tattoo which is cool because the story says that originally two women brought the art of tattooing to Samoa from another island where only females got tattoos. And when they came here the art became so popular it has since turned into a tradition that most of the world believes originated in Samoa... but of course we know the truth. However, it was originally a female rite of passage, a passage I have now taken. As for what it looks like... I can only say, X marks the spot, or in this case, many X's. For all my PCV and RPCV friends of Samoa, you know what Im talking about. For the others, you will just have to wait. Patience is a virtue and one of my many lessons learned in the islands. So from me to you, patience is my gift. I will see you all very soon, but not soon enough.

oohhhhh... my head hurts. Is this what they call the flu? Shouldnt it only come when its cold outside so that when you have a fever and you get the chills it makes sense because its not 102 outside? And really it doesnt seem fair that because I have the flu and my family made me sleep in their house so they could rub leaves and other strange samoan things on my head that the mosquitoes would bite my face because it was the only part of my body that they could reach. And so on top of having the flu, a stuffy red nose, swollen lips, a sore head and tender throat I also have 5 red large bumps on my face.

I will tell you one thing, I am looking good today... check me out baby. I look HOT! Im going back to bed. Goodnight! PS- Its 9:30am Samoan time.

Today one of those things that happens here.. happened. A giant palm tree fell across the road in Lauli'i and blocked all the morning workers from getting to work. Now keep in mind that we only have one road here, so there are no options for going around or taking another route. So when our bus arrived and the road was blocked, people started coming out of the wood work with axes and machetes. All the men on our bus piled off and went into action. They all know there roles, the matai starting barking orders and the soles started hacking at the wood. Eventually they had cut this huge tree into four pieces, pieces that should take a crane to lift, but a dozen ripped Samoan soles will work too. And after 10 minutes, the men piled back on the bus and we were off again as if nothing ever happened.

Cool things happen here like that, because its a small island with limited resources and they're still used to everyone putting something in to get something done.

"It ain't like it used to be when everyone would lend a hand." -Ryan Adams
(I may not have gotten that quote exactly, but its close)

The Birthday Celebrations just keep going and going and going....

The girls went out on Saturday to celebrate 4 September Birthdays and 1 October. We had a special dinner at the Yaught Club and then moved over to a sports bar (I know, not too girly, but the classy joint we tried to go to was sooo classy they were full). But we still had a good time and even got special Birthday shots provided by the owners or somebody... not so sure. And then the waitress came over to tell us they had one more treat for us and a man in his 40's or so came over, took off his shirt and started to take off his PANTS-- EEEWWW!! Then the Samoan music came on and we all took the stage and showed off our Samoan dancing talents. We earned 15tala, I got an Ula (flower necklace) and lots of laughs and smiles and ovation.

All in all, good time, good times!

Lists of Samoa:

Things I will always miss about Samoa…
• My Samoan family and Peace Corps friends
• My students and church group
• Walking home along the beach
• 10am movies at Magik Cinema
• Knowing someone everywhere you go
• Enjoying the breeze and blue green colors of the ocean while on the bus
• Confidence in knowing that I can do anything in this country, its sort of sad but because I have a college degree and work experience I am more qualified than most of the country, this wont be the case Stateside
• Fresh cold coconuts at the market, one tala
• Walking through my village feeling completely at ease, knowing everyone and all of my surroundings
• Koko Samoa!!!! Bittersweet coffee-like drink
• My faleo’o, my little hut on the beach

Things I will never miss about Samoa….
• Sardine can packed bus rides, having to sit on peoples laps
• The soles ( the men of this country)
• Knowing someone everywhere you go
• The Samoan Pity Party
• The obsession with American and the belief that somewhere in America there must be a money tree, so give me some money
• Depressing sight of disease ridden dogs
• The food, greasy, fatty and fried
• The great ball of hate, otherwise known as the sun, or the gateway to hell
• Watching my family struggle with faalavelave’s and not being able to really help or understand



Before I leave… (written on 12.08.04)
• I want to have answers to questions I have not yet formulate
• I want to have integrity and dignity in speech, act and life
• I want to be proud but not prideful
• I want to understand the world at large, to conceive it, to be connected to it and mindful of it
• I want to ignore my fears and live to my greatest ability, giving all that I have to that which I believe and do

Im turning 27 and not much has changed. I have no big ideals or expectations as I did when I turned 25. I think I will spend my birthday with my Samoan family eating cake and drinking koko Samoa, my all time favorite drink. The teuila festival starts tomorrow and the harbor is full of yachts and tourist. The big boats are practicing today for their competition on Thursday. So there are these extra long, narrow boats everywhere with hundreds of men paddling each one and a base drum in the back to keep the rhythm. These are the boats Samoans used to use in times of war. Hundreds of Samoan men with clubs and axes and the sound of a war drum beating out the rhythm of attack.

In the last two days I have sworn in a new group of volunteers and said goodbye to a tradition. We had a nice little pizza party to celebrate group 76 and we taught them the secret handshake so it’s all official.
Then last night we watched Monte drive off to the Airport and leave the country for the first and last time. Monte and I break ourselves against each other and hold the other to a standard just for us. We presented challenges and solutions for the other, held each others hands, screamed and hit each other and in the end we can still say that we love each other. He is my friend. My comrade. My dear.

Good luck with your next adventure, Monte. You will be missed, especially by me.

I carry you in my heart (I carry you in my heart)
-e.e. cummings